The Power of Mentalizing

Sometimes relationships do not run as smoothly as we would like. Attunement to others can be difficult, and conversely, from time to time we feel misunderstood ourselves by the ones we love. This can lead to misunderstanding, frustration, and friction. If we mentalize more and better, i.e. give more attention to our own feelings, thoughts, desires, and intentions as well as to those of others, our interactions will be more pleasant and feel safer. This applies to every relationship – those with our children and pupils, and those with our partners and colleagues. We all know a student, neighbour, client, or adolescent who feels alone and misunderstood. Maybe we see but hesitate to really connect and mean something to them. Or we think it that there is nothing we can do. This book shows how everyone can make a difference. Making someone feel important, mentalizing about someone, and connecting with someone who may not have felt contact for a long time does make a difference. The Power of Mentalizing explains in an accessible way what mentalizing means and how it can help make a difference in our own lives as well as in the lives of others. The authors of this book draw on the rich developmental psychology literature on attachment, mentalizing, and epistemic trust. They use several examples to explain what it takes to really connect. In addition, they challenge the reader to self-reflect and to become a slightly better version of themselves.